We’re used to the idea that in the real world, almost every crime comes with a punishment.
So why should the ad network world be any different?

We’ve put together a list of the most common “traffic crimes” advertisers commit when working with Ad Networks and decided what kind of sentence each of them would deserve.

The court is now in session.
 

Crime: Launching a campaign without a tracker or postback, then asking to check the performance data on the publisher platform’s side.
Sentence: A three-year ban from using the phrase “according to our stats.”

Crime: Forgetting to set a daily budget cap for popunder traffic, spending the entire budget in one day, and then asking for a refund.
Sentence: Five years of strict budget supervision without the right to appeal.

Crime: Sending performance statistics as a screenshot instead of an Excel or CSV file.
Sentence: 100 hours of manually copying numbers into spreadsheets.

Crime: Continuing to buy traffic from a source that stopped converting a long time ago.
Sentence: Mandatory source-level optimization until the first profitable campaign.

Crime: Launching a Worldwide campaign when the offer only accepts traffic from five countries.
Sentence: Two years of studying geography.

Crime: Messaging the account manager “traffic doesn’t convert” ten minutes after the campaign launch.
Sentence: 100 hours of community service in the analytics department.

Crime: Using the same landing page for every device, country, language, and audience.
Sentence: Mandatory A/B testing.

Crime: Agreeing to run a controlled RTB test and disappearing for five days at the exact moment the test goes live.
Sentence: Two years of supervised test launches with mandatory online presence.

Crime: Saying, “I’ll check the stats now,” and coming back one month later.
Sentence: One year without access to the phrase “I’ll get back to you shortly.”

Crime: Confidently claiming that tracking is handled through the API, while not knowing how to use the API and asking a new question every ten minutes.
Sentence: Mandatory API documentation reading, followed by a practical exam.

Crime: Asking to launch a test as soon as possible and then stopping all communication immediately after launch.
Sentence: Six months of responding to every message marked “urgent.”

Crime: Demanding high-quality traffic when the offer itself can only process one alert per minute.
Sentence: Compulsory capacity planning before requesting any further scaling.

Crime: Spending two hours discussing campaign settings and then launching everything with the default parameters.
Sentence: Three years without access to the “Launch” button.

Combined Case #1

The defendant was found guilty of:

• Saying the budget was limited and forgetting to set a daily cap.
• Asking the network to block poor-performing sources without providing the list of sources.
• Complaining that the traffic did not convert without knowing whether the landing page was even working.

Sentence: Five years of imprisonment in a maximum-security optimization department.

Combined Case #2

The defendant was found guilty of:

• Launching a campaign for a specific GEO and discovering one week later that the offer does not accept that GEO.
• Changing the bid and filters every ten minutes and then asking why the results are unstable.
• Stopping the campaign after the first 100 impressions and issuing a final verdict on traffic quality.

Sentence: Five years in a maximum-security optimization department, including mandatory courses in geography, patience, and statistical significance.

Combined Case #3

The defendant was found guilty of:

• Claiming that everything was configured correctly and later discovering an error in the campaign URL.
• Requesting a whitelist, receiving it, and then launching the campaign without using it.
• Asking the account manager to urgently check a campaign without providing the Campaign ID.
• Requesting account credit because there was no time to top up the balance — and then failing to repay it.

Sentence: Lifetime suspension of advertising privileges without the possibility of parole. All future campaign launches must be supervised by an account manager.
 

So, have you counted how many of these “crimes” you commit every week or every month?
Be careful. Your sentence might be longer than you think.

🧡